The Parallels Between Cars and Football

I'm sure there are many men, women and children out there who share my two passions; namely cars and football. Add beer to that list and you have the holy trinity of absolute perfection, but let's just stick to the cars and football for now. When buying a car, I found it difficult to narrow down all the available choices and get a great all-round car that would be suitable for the varying factions of my life. I needed something sporty (from impressing members of the opposite sex), something practical (the weekly food shop) and something economic. With the myriad of potential purchases that would fulfill these duties, I found myself duly stumped.

It was suggested to me by a female friend that the male brain, when struggling to make a decision, works better when able to draw comparisons. Put simply, you substitute your options with suitable alternatives. This apparently makes the choice easier to make. So I did what came naturally to me and substituted all the car options for football players (past and present) to help me arrive at a decision.

My first option was a Ford Fiesta, a reliably nippy, reliable and low cost choice, but delivering good performance and a long road life. I decided that this would be Ryan Giggs (circa 1994); a quick mover, rarely injured, but in no way is it going to break the bank with outrageous demands or give a lacklustre performance. Right, so that's one down.

Next up was the Vauxhall Corsa; a bit of a slow burner I thought. There is bags of potential there and it definitely has the ability, but will it ever shine and be the best. There could only be one comparison with a footballer of this ilk and that was most definitely Gazza (circa 1990). Both car and player (in his day) are supremely talented, world-class even, but slightly miss the top spot with a lack of refinement and the tendency to go a bit wayward. I thought on …

The Suzuki Splash was pure eagerness in automobile form, like an excitable puppy trying to please its new owners, but still making mistakes and leaving little 'packages' on the living room carpet. This required very little thought at all as one name immediately sprung to mind … Park Ji Sung. The perennial 'try-hard' player, who works like a dog for 90 minutes without achieving very much at all.

This technique was making my decision making a lot easier. I was dispensing with the cold, indigestible facts such as bhp, torque, engine size and moving into a territory that interested me a whole lot more; how the car made me feel. I had one more option which was the Volkswagen Polo.

Lothar Matthäus (circa 1986) was the immediate choice as he embodied everything I felt about the stoic German car; strong, dependable, skilled when necessary and an all-rounder of great ability. However, seeing as this was a choice based on passion and how the car made me feel inside, Lothar / Polo was never going to be the winner. I was looking for something with a bit more pizazz.

So I chose the Ryan Giggs / Fiesta option. The brand may be getting a bit now, but every now and then it does something spectacular that reminds you of how great it is now and has always been.

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