After Divorce: Ways to Rediscover Your True Passion

Going through a divorce is a difficult time in anyone’s life, especially if they have been married for a long time. In addition, it can be hard to adjust to once again being single.

If you are a single mom, you have special considerations. Perhaps you feel you have lost yourself. After all, you may have worked outside of the home for years, maybe even long enough for your children to grow up. Perhaps you even tried to be a “supermom” and put your own needs and desires on hold. You tried to do it all.

But after the divorce, you may begin to think about dating. Take your time. This is a precious opportunity to learn about and rediscover yourself. Use this time to explore the “real you.”

Take the time to discover your true passions in life, those you may have been putting off for a long time.

1. Treasure your inner gifts.

It’s hard for many women to recognize the gold nuggets hiding within themselves. How about you? Perhaps you have forgotten your unique gifts and have instead fallen into the habit of concentrating on those things you don’t like about yourself or your life. So why not start today to list your admirable qualities? Then read your list every day.

Examples might include: a kind and generous spirit, a nice smile, intelligence, being loving and caring, and so on. Your list is endless, I assure you. In addition, make a list of the notable accomplishments you have achieved in life, such as, for example, raising a family or learning an occupation.

2. Take time out for yourself.

A common feeling after divorce is one of grief, as if you have lost a part of your life. You may feel the need to keep busy during this difficult period, by doing such household chores as housecleaning or by working overtime. Being productive is good, although it can be overdone.

In addition, you should take some time to pamper yourself. Take that bubble bath you never thought you had time for. Have a cup of hot tea or go to the mall or curl up with a good book. Go for a walk in the park, listening to your favorite music, on a crisp autumn day. You deserve to do something nice for yourself. Remember that the happier you are, the happier those around you will be.

3. No regrets

Holding onto past bitterness will only keep you from moving forward. Stifle that inner voice if it is feeding you regrets. Eliminate the “what ifs” and “if onlys.” Ask yourself if your thoughts are helping you feel better or serving you in any way. Will rehashing the past solve anything?

A quote attributed to Buddy Hackett is, “I never hold a grudge, because while I am being angry, the other person is out dancing.” Yes, you should acknowledge your feelings and learn from your experiences, but then you should move on to the next exciting chapter of your life. There is life after divorce!

4. Get help

Life after divorce often means added responsibilities. And if you have children in your care and are in charge of a once shared to-do list, it is easy to get totally stressed out. Try to find people to help you with your responsibilities. Don’t rush to find another life partner just yet. If you feel hurried to get married again, you could make a mistake. Instead, barter with friends and coworkers to trade responsibilities. Get help from family members.

Also, limit your responsibilities. Ever had this experience? You are asked to volunteer for something or you are on a committee and you say “yes” to something, even though it will make your tight schedule even tighter. You really don’t want to do it.

How to avoid this? A good practice is to become known as one who always has to check a schedule or calendar before agreeing to something. Thank the person for the offer but let him know you will have to check your calendar before making a decision. This will give you extra time to think about it, but don’t put it off! Do, however, ask for a day or two, if possible. If after that time you are still feeling doubtful, the request may not be right for you.

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